A Breakthrough

So I have learned yet another very valuable lesson in life…it is next to impossible to change another person or my relationship with them without first changing myself.

When I am hurt or disappointed by another person, I am naturally inclined to think they are the one who needs to make an effort to change or “fix” the relationship. Life is very short and I feel I have wasted way too much time and energy trying to win an argument and proving my point. Arguing and being angry got me nowhere and only made the relationship worse. It’s not all about winning or being right, it’s about being happy and having peace within.

After many failed attempts to repair a broken relationship, I decided to try a totally different approach. I made the decision to change myself, my attitudes and the way I relate to them. I have no control over another’s behaviors, but I do have control over my own. I asked God to change my heart and allow me to forgive and let go of the past. It was not easy and certainly not instantaneous but after much work and prayer, I have finally found it in myself to give complete forgiveness, to leave the past in the past and start fresh.

Learning to forgive has been the key and is one the most liberating things I have ever done. It has shattered the shackles of pain of my past and provided me with complete freedom from my bitterness in the present. It’s kind of like taking out the old piled up smelly garbage and disposing of it once and for all, leaving the house fresh and clean. I no longer react to their negative attitudes, when the conversation goes negative, I immediately change it to the positive and I stand strong and only show love and gentleness towards them.

I have prayed for God to change me and He has. What is even more amazing is that the changes that have occurred in my heart have manifested into the same sort of change in the other person. Once they began to experience a more loving and positive attitude from me, they responded with the same loving and caring behavior. I believe that once someone sees a light beam in your heart they will naturally respond positively to it and want to have the same peace you have.

Our relationship is by no means perfect now but it is finally starting to resemble the one which God intended for us to have. WOW, that is so awesome…why did it take me so long to figure this out???