Wishing Everyone A Very Blessed Christmas Day!

Christmas is one my favorite times of the year. The trees, lights, decorations and of course all of the wonderful aromas such as baked goodies and certain spices you only smell during this time of the year. There is nothing better than being with family and friends to enjoy fellowship, fun and lots and lots of food and in the case of my family, the feasts and fellowship continuous all the way through the New Year until the last relative boards their plane and returns home. I often wonder if we are the only family who cooks all day long and then as we gather together to enjoy the meal, spend the whole time discussing what we will prepare for the next meal…must be a Cajun thing.

Christmas has been extra special this year because God blessed me with the opportunity to spend a week in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina celebrating an early Christmas with my two dear friends Randy and Ronda. How awesome it was to spend a week with two dear friends surrounded by the presence of God. I had the opportunity to visit their church, meet their wonderful family and friends; we attended an awesome Christmas show, visited the famous Biltmore House, viewed the Christmas lights of Asheville and Gatlinburg, toured the national parks in the mountains, viewed the world’s greatest gingerbread house display sipped hot chocolate by a roaring fire, and baked Christmas cookies, all of this while praising His Name. WOW! It was all so “Christmasy”. When I got back from North Carolina, I came home to a beautiful Christmas wonderland. To help celebrate the first year in my new home, my sister Nancy and her husband Linus surprised me by decorating my home complete with a Christmas tree, stockings, a nativity scene and outdoor lights. This Christmas has been very special and the memories I have of it means the world to me and will stay in my heart forever.

As we gather with our family and friends during this wonderful time of the year and celebrate the birth of our Dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I am in awe of how great God’s love is for each and every one of us. Yes, our almighty and all powerful God loves us so much that He wrapped Himself in flesh as a baby and came down to Earth to live among His people and teach of salvation and to redeem us. Can you imagine all that He gave up for us? Our great and almighty King of Kings, worthy of all of the finest the universe has to offer, came down to Earth in the lowliest of conditions - born in a stable and slept on hay in an animal trough.

Jesus came as a King for ALL people, regardless of their social or religious status. Yes, our Almighty King lived among His people including sinners and the outcast. He shared His life with them, He cried with them and He touched them with compassion and healing. He extended His love to everyone so that all is people could have the opportunity to understand that God’s mercy, grace and compassion are intended for ALL of mankind.

May we never forget what our Lord has done for us and how much He loves us. May we follow in His footsteps and be willing to allow His love to extend through us to all of our fellow brothers and sisters.

Loving the Unloveable

Loving people who are outgoing, happy and filled with joy and kindness are easy to love. Oh, how I wish everyone was like that. The truth is however, that there are many people in our close daily lives who are difficult to love, who no matter what, can never be pleased or encouraged enough. After spending extended periods of times around their negative attitudes, I am often left feeling drained and defeated. I often ask myself why do I bother? Why do I set myself up for what seems to be an endless cycle of rejection, hurt and sadness? What makes a person so difficult to love? Is it something I did or did not do? Are their hearts just empty and starved for love? Have they ever experienced unconditional love? And if so, have they forgotten how joyful and liberating it can be? How do I cope? My first instinct is to ignore, avoid are argue with them but wouldn’t that just make me difficult to love as well?

As a Christian, I have to remember that only showing love to those who easily love you in return is not pleasing to our Lord. If I only show love to “loveable” people, my walk with the Lord will be hindered. Luke 6: 32-33 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.”

I don’t believe it’s possible for us to love others the way we should without God’s help. Love comes from God. It is not just an emotion, but a deliberate decision to do what is best for someone. I must remember to pray for the people who are difficult to love in my life so that their hearts will soften and to not judge them as I have no idea of the circumstances in their lives that have brought them to this point.

After spending a wonderful week of fun, fellowship and prayer with two dear and precious friends, I am left feeling very loved and my heart is full. As I reflect back on last week with a smile, I now come to the realization that God has blessed me with many wonderful friends and family in my life who constantly pour their love into me. Their unconditional love along with God’s powerful love causes my heart to overflow and I now realize that there is certainly enough love in my heart for me to freely start giving some away, unconditionally, with no expectations of return.

God constantly pursues a love relationship with each one of us. He knows us and he wants us to know him. He gives us unconditional love, HE loves us regardless of what we have done, HE loves us not because we are obedient, but simply because HE is love. There is not one thing that ever keeps God from pursuing us. I realize this and know that I can never stop pursuing the broken relationships in my life. I think of how merciful God has been to me this past year although I did nothing to deserve it and know that He wants me to show that same mercy to others. I pray that God will help me to see people through HIS eyes. I pray for him to give me the strength to not let them drain or break me and the strength to love them as HE loves them.

A Year of Thanksgiving

We celebrated Thanksgiving dinner last Sunday at Fellowship church and before we ate our meal, we separated into small groups, shared communion and each took a turn to say what we were most thankful for this year. How could I possibly say all that I am thankful for this year in just one sentence??? No, that’s just not possible for me, so I had to carry that one over to my blog. So here goes….

To me, this is not just Thanksgiving Day, it has been a Thanksgiving YEAR, filled with blessings of great multitudes. I am extremely thankful that I did not have to go on dialysis, take insulin shots or have another transplant this year as the doctors predicted I would. I am even more thankful for my eyesight that has been restored and my new found independence because of it. I am thankful for my loving family and all of the wonderful new friends that God has placed in my life this year. I am thankful for a job that I love and that my boss has moved my office from downtown Baton Rouge to just 2 miles from my house. (Which reminds me that I am also thankful that gas is now $1.87 a gallon and not $4.00!)

During the past few months, I often find myself daydreaming or lying awake in bed continuously thanking God for all of my blessings this year. He is so awesome! I am in such awe of how much my life has changed from just one year ago. It took so much of my energy to drag myself to work each day. Always sick and exhausted, I barely managed to make it through the work week then spent all weekend in bed recovering, just to start it all over again on Monday. My mom had to drive me everywhere I went and help me to do all of the physical things I needed to do. Wow! What a year of transformation it has been! I was able to travel to France, I have moved into my new home, my eyesight has been restored, I can drive myself to work and to the store, carry my own groceries, clean my own house and I now spend my Sunday mornings at bible study and church rather than in bed sick. I feel great both physically and spiritually and for the first time in years, I feel like I am alive again. I just want to freeze this year in time so that I can enjoy it forever!

Of course, I am thankful for all of these wonderful blessings that God has so graciously bestowed upon me but I am also thankful for the trials that I have experienced to get to this point. By going through the trials, I have learned so many lessons I could not have learned any other way. It has taught me to appreciate the little things in life, to know the importance of always saying I love you to the ones you care about, to deepen great relationships and to repair the broken ones. But, most importantly, it has brought me to my knees and made me discover who our God really is. THAT is what has made the biggest impact in my life. No matter what the future brings, I know that He is in control and will be by my side to strengthen me and carry me through.

Thank you God for so perfectly planning my life and being in control!

Its all about hope and encouragement

I am so blessed to have an amazing testimony of God’s healing grace. It has been on my heart for a long time to write my story down on paper so that I can share it with others. As with a lot of things in life, I keep procrastinating on this, thinking I will write it all down when I have more time. My dear friend Ronda has recently reminded me that I NEED to do this soon and stop putting it off. She always manages to encourage me to do the things I keep saying I am going to do but never make the time. Reading a good book, starting a bible study, baptism, joining a lifegroup...the list goes on… I always love a good challenge and she has certainly managed to challenge me spiritually. She gives me so much hope and encouragement.

As I sit to write this testimony, I am reminded of the obstacle that always seems to hinder my progress – Guilt. I always seem to question why has God blessed me so much when there are many who were not as sick as I who have not made it this far. Would anybody who is so sick and is suffering really want to hear my story?

As I was sitting in my office today contemplating over what to write and where to possibly begin, the regional president of our bank walked in as he had come to our branch for a visit. We began to talk about his wife who is battling stage 4 cancer and is really ill. As I listened to him talk of the dreadful diagnosis and of her poor condition, my heart sank deep into my chest. I could see deep sadness in his eyes as he talked of her situation. But despite the bleak diagnosis, he talked of their faith and the hope they had that she would recover. What could I possibly say to him? Yes, I had experienced my share of bad diagnosis and suffering but never on such as level as his wife. I gave him a hug and wished him my best and all I could think of was to tell him the story of my recent miracle of restored vision. As I told the story I am thinking to myself, I must sound so stupid telling this story to a man whose wife is suffering from stage 4 cancer. How could it possibly compare?? I must have sounded so cheesy.

Contrary to my belief, he was so excited for me. He thanked me for sharing my story and told me that was just what he needed to hear that day. He said, “You give me hope and encouragement.” Wow!! I was so humbled to hear that. After he left, I told the story to my coworker and the guilt that I felt as I asked what could I have possibly done to deserve God’s amazing grace? The truth is, nothing. There is nothing I could ever possibly do to deserve His mercy and grace. It is simply His gift to me.
She told me to read her devotional for that day and I was blown away as I knew God was talking directly to me…

THIS IS A TIME OF ABUNDANCE in your life. Enjoy your blessings. Your cup runneth over with blessings. After ploddig uphill for many weeks, you are now traipsing through lush meadows drenched in warm sunshine.. I want you to enjoy to the full this time of ease and refreshment. I delight in providing it for you.
Sometimes my children hesitate to receive My good gifts with open hands. Feelings of false guilt creep in, telling them they don’t deserve to be so richly blessed. This is nonsense thinking, because no one deserves anything from me. My kingdom is not about earning and deserving; it’s about believing and receiving.
When a child of Mine balks at accepting My gifts, I am deeply grieved. When you receive My abundant blessings with a grateful heart, I rejoice. My pleasure in receiving flow together in joyous harmony.

Wow, I needed to hear that! I know now that my healing is a special gift from God that He truly wants me to have and I will praise him forever! My prayer is that God can speak through me to write the best testimony to glorify His name and give others hope and encouragement.

And We All Go Home

Well, I didn’t get to go home on Friday as planned. You would think I would have learned by now that I ALWAYS get a second wind of the nausea and pain. Just when it seems to have left and I am over it, it comes back with vengeance! Round 2 started Friday morning and lasted well into Saturday night. I started feeling better during the night and was able to keep down some broth this morning. The good news is that there has NEVER been a third wind and since my labs looked good, the doctor discharged me this morning. The first thing I did, as always, is soak in a long hot bath. Oh, how I love my baths! After that, I made a huge pot of homemade potato soup…what comfort food after being sick for 5 days.

I, however, was not the only one who was able to be discharged from the hospital. On Friday, Janie called mom all excited saying they had just received word that there was a bed available for Beverly in an Oklahoma hospital and they were going to transport her that night!! I am so happy for them! I would have never expected it to happen so soon! Because I had started feeling sick again on Friday, I couldn't get out of bed to go and tell them bye, but at some point in the afternoon, I woke up from a deep sleep to find Janie standing over me saying she had come to tell me goodbye and drop off a gift for me.

Janie called mom on Sat to tell her they had a great flight and Beverly was settled in her room and loving it! Now that I know Beverly, I can bet you she's got a big ole grin in her face. Please continue to pray for her complete recovery and also pray for her sister Janie who is constantly at her bedside.

Back At My Favorite Bed & Breakfast

I woke up yesterday with a flare up of the gastro paresis. It reared its ugly head again in rare form – it was all back - the nausea, the excruciating pain and the uncontrollable vomiting. I couldnt keep down my anti rejection meds and was becoming dehydrated which can damage my transplanted kidney.

I went to the ER last night about 7:00pm and after a 4 hour wait, they finally brought me back to a gurney. I was so miserable, I just wanted to be knocked out. The wonderful doctor in the ER could see how miserable I was and gave me, what he called, the gastro paresis cocktail consisting of Morphine for the pain, Phenerghan for the nausea, Valium to relax my stomach muscles, and IV fluids for the dehydration. Mom said the nurse didn’t even finish pushing in the meds before I was out. They did an echocardiogram, x-ray, poked and prodded but I never budged.

I slept for 12 hours and woke up in a regular patient room. I didn’t know where I was at first but I quickly recognized the familiar scenery. I am, however, starting to feel like a part of the human race again. There is nothing more miserable than nausea! I am starting to get hungry now and ready to trash the chicken broth and jello and eat a serious bowl of gumbo! If all of my lab work checks out fine in the am, I should be able to be discharged by tomorrow afternoon.

Since I have been doing nothing but sleeping all day, mom has had plenty of time to visit with Beverly Kohl and her sister Janie as we are in the same hospital This afternoon, Janie told mom they were interviewed by our local TV station and Bev's story was going to be the lead story on the 6pm news. I was so excited for them and since I was feeling better today, I got dressed in my PJ's and slippers and mom and I pulled my IV poles, tubes, extension cords and all across the hospital and downstairs to visit them. (Or as I told my nurse, just a little walk to help me feel better.)

We had a great visit and I was able to hold Beverly's hand and tell her that we were all praying for her full recovery. What a beautiful person she is. Given all she is going through, she manages to keep a huge smile on her face and tells me she is praying for me as well. She is such an inspiration!

Here is the link to the Channel 2 WBRZ news

http://www.2theadvocate.com/search?searchKeywords=beverly+kohl&searchdatabase=Advocate&searchsection=

Visiting a Fallen Hero

Today, my family and I had the privilege of visiting with Beverly Kohl, the volunteer from Oklahoma who suffered a major spinal cord injury while volunteering in Baton Rouge during the recovery of Hurricane Gustav. Beverly’s sisters, Janie and Chris were very gracious and told us all about Beverly and her background. She is a retired nurse with a tremendous heart for serving our Lord and His people. She has volunteered 6 months on a Mercy Ship in Africa, served on other mission trips to Nicaragua and was just recently trained to be on the Oklahoma Disaster Recovery Team.

She is currently on a ventilator, has a feeding tube and the only movement she has is in her arms and hands. I spoke to her briefly and was able to tell her Fellowship Church and all of the disaster relief volunteers that knew of her story were thinking of her and praying for her complete recovery. She smiled and mouthed, “thank you.” We even got a laugh from her when Janie told her she was famous because I had googled her on the internet and found an article written by a Tulsa Newspaper.

Beverly does not know this, but the private medical insurance policy that she took out for $2million, only covers $25,000 per occurrence. She needs to be moved to a Specialty Spinal Cord Rehab Center, but it will cost $20,000 to transport her with a ventilator. The hospital in Baton Rouge agreed to absorb the transportation cost, but they cannot find a rehab center that will accept her with a ventilator or accept her without insurance. She doesn’t qualify for Medicaid and is not yet old enough to receive Medicare.

They have sent multiple petitions to the state of Oklahoma in the hope that someone will hear their plea and find a rehabilitation center in Oklahoma that will accept her without insurance. She asked that I post the link to their website http://www.voilesfamily.com/ for updates on Beverly. There is a headline on the Oct 18 update listing important information they want to get out to as many people as possible stating what people can do to help.
I feel I have a special bond with this family and they have a special place in my heart as I have been hospitalized out of state several times and know what it is like to rely on the kindness of strangers for some small comforts of home. Now that we have met them and know their needs, we will try to make their stay as comfortable as possible while they are here.
Please continue to pray with me for Beverly and her family and that God will give them the physical, emotional and spiritual strength they need get through this difficult time.

Health Update

Here is a copy of the email I sent out today updating my current health...

For all of my dear friends and family members who continue to pray for me, I wanted to give you an update and share some great news with you.

On Sept 12, I celebrated the 6 year anniversary of my kidney and pancreas transplant. It was a year ago this month that the doctors told me that my kidney and pancreas had failed and I would need to go back on insulin, need dialysis within days and would need a new kidney transplant. Here it is 12 months later and my kidney has actually rejuvenated itself back to the function I had before it went into failure last year. God is good!

Most of you also know that my sight has been impaired for years and for the last 4 years I have not been able to drive. Last month, I was able to have an eye surgery that dramatically improved the vision in my left eye. My vision was 20/200 and I was told the best I could hope for would be 20/100. The day after surgery, my vision was 20/40 and one week later, my vision was 20/25!!!! This past Monday, I was able to get my driver's license with no restrictions attached! (Did I mention God is Good)

I wanted to share my good news with all of you to be a testimony to the Lord's work and so that you can witness for yourself the power of your prayers. I feel your prayers every hour of my life as they carry me through each and every trial into triumph.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall praise Him. Psalm 28:7

Today is my 6 year “Re”-Birthday

It was 6 years ago today on September 12, 2002 that I received a successful kidney and pancreas transplant that dramatically improved my quality of life. After living with Diabetes for over 2o years, the new pancreas set me free of the need for daily insulin shots, finger sticks and special diets while the new kidney gave me normal kidney function so that I could avoid dialysis needed to get rid of the toxins and edema that had accumulated in my blood and body.

The whole experience before, during and after the transplant has indeed been a roller coaster ride with a tremendous amount of ups and downs along with all of the “loop de loops” in between. That’s what amazes me the most, for every trial or “low” I experience, God always counters it with an even greater “high” or miracle. I have been challenged physically, emotionally and spiritually and He has poured His mercy and grace in me. I know some how it was part of His plan that these trials would reveal my true spiritual character, drawing me closer and making me more dependent on him.

As much as today is an anniversary of celebration for me and my family, I could never forget that for another family out there, it is also an anniversary of loss. So today I honor not only my donor but also his family who in a time of loss and sadness, made the selfless decision to donate their loved one’s organs in order to give myself and others a chance to live. I can never explain the love and the appreciation I have for them. I am in absolute awe of the miracle of life where an organ can be taken out of one person and made to live and thrive in another person giving them new life. This can only be the work of God!

I know organ donation is a subject that most people don’t like to talk about but for the sake of those out there who are in such desperate need I feel a need to bring it up. When God decides it is time for us to go and be with him, I can assure you that we won’t be able to take anything but our souls with us, everything else will be left behind. So today, I ask you to go and dig for your driver’s license that is buried deep in your wallet or purse and all stuck to that plastic cover thingy that protects it and take a hard look at it. If you don’t have that little red heart on it indicating that you are an organ donor, I urge to run, not walk to the OMV office and have that changed and tell your next of kin of your wishes. You can save someone’s life, I am living proof of that!!

http://www.lopa.org

Everything is Beautiful...

I had surgery on my left eye last Thursday and oh, how my life has changed!!! I was diagnosed with Diabetic Retinopathy over 15 years ago and within the last 4 years, my corrected vision had deteriorated to 20/200. In layman’s terms, that means I could only see the big E on the eye chart. To be perfectly honest, the only reason I read that letter correctly was because I kinda already knew that's what it was supposed to be. I could only make out large objects, couldn’t make out colors and could only read with a magnifying glass. The best the doctor was hoping for was for 20/100 but, at today’s appointment, the vision in my left eye was 20/30! After not being able to drive for 4 years, the doctor has told me to go and get my license. Can you imagine that? Me driving again??? Praise God! He is so AWESOME!!

I was able to remove the eye patch on Friday and the first thing I did was run to the window to see if I would notice anything different. I stood in amazement as I read the number 32 just as plain as day on the condo across the yard from me. (Now you have to understand, I didn’t even know we had house numbers before then). As I looked all around my complex, my immediate thought was, “Wow, so this is where I live...mom wasn’t kidding, what a cute little neighborhood…” I was amazed to actually see colors again. As I looked around my house the bold, rich colors popped out at me. I couldn’t believe that I actually had some sort of decorating scheme going on…wow, I didn’t do too bad decorating, given I couldn’t see the true colors I was working with. Yes, I know God somehow had his hand in that one. Can you imagine, with all of His big “Godly” duties, he can still find time to be a great interior decorator??

After muddling around in shadows for the past 4 years, I am amazed at all of the beauty in this world that I have been missing out on. Sure, I always knew the grass was green and the sky was blue but, how skewed and dim those colors had become. How amazing it is seeing the true vivid colors the way God created them and not just as an idea of what I remembered them to be. However, it is not only the beauty of God’s artwork in nature and our surroundings but also the small things that I would have never given a second thought to in the days before I lost my vision. For example, today as I read a memo at work, I actually caught myself admiring out loud how pretty the black print was against the white paper and I was blown away by the vivid blue colors on my Windows XP computer background…my coworkers must think I am nuts. Before, I could never see outside my office window and now I can see the cars pass by on Airline Hwy. I had to laugh at myself when I caught myself reading all the signs on the big commerce trucks as the passed one by one through the intersection, as if I was a first grader just learning how to read. Yes, I know, I am such a geek but it’s a great day to be alive!

This has been a glorious week in my life, an unexpected gift from God. Oh, how he loves to surprise us! I thank God not only for my restored vision, but also for the experience of impaired vision. That experienced deeply humbled me as I was stripped of my much treasured independence, forced to set aside my pride and had to learn to accept the help of others. But, by doing so, I have been able to create close bonds and great relationships with those people which otherwise, I might not have ever had the opportunity to have. It has made me appreciate the things that we all tend to take for granted such as sight, the ability to drive, our independence and our family. I pray that I may never take those things for granted again.